Face Trouble Or Vision Trouble

 Does your face get you into trouble?  Mine does.  As some peoples mouth tends to jump out there and speak before the brain gets in gear–my face seems to do the same.  I really thought tonight about getting a mask.  At least that way I won’t get stung and I won’t offend.  But, the mask would get hot and stuffy.  I’d have trouble breathing too.  Is that hormones?  The face expression thing?

Maybe I’ve always been like that.  I don’t know.  Or, maybe some are just more sensitive to expressions these days. 

I wrote something down a while back, can’t remember where I found it, but it said, “the most important thing you wear is your expression.”  Wow.  I guess I should have read that tonight before I looked the way I looked.  Mmmm.  Maybe two little grandsons being very active all day long and me being tired from activity I’m not quite used to could have a wee bit to do with it. 

I think when dealing with others, we need to show a little more mercy (I know I do).  So.  Sorry about the “look” if you feel you’ve ever been the recipient of one of my looks.  Truly I didn’t mean it.  I have a vision problem.  (Really)  I remember a sweet woman that I went to church with many years ago, stopped me after church and asked if I was upset with her about anything.  Astonished, I said, “of course not, why do you ask?” 

“Well, you looked at me funny across the church.”

I guess it wasn’t a funny -ha-ha- type.  I explained to her that I had had trouble seeing and would soon be seeing the eye doctor.  I had squinted at her…I suppose that could be confused with a look of “upset”?  4 different pair and strengths of glasses later plus contact lenses proves my point. 

How often do you jump to conclusions about something because of a look you misinterpreted? 

 Yeah, me too.  Sometimes though, I’m on target. 

So, is it your vision or their face?  Hmmm.  Could be either, or both I suppose.

I think we need to work on both.

I LOVE JESUS!

And His love and grace is what keeps me going!

But—I got me some hormones.

It’s different from having a broken leg. A broken leg will heal in time. But those hormones…or today, being full of NW FL, small county community dialect, I’d say, “but them there hormones, they are givin’ me a fit!”

Yes, I took my meds. Yes, I am eating right. No I didn’t exercise this weekend. Instead, I was up early, did some laundry (just the washing and drying part), ate a bite of breakfast, although can’t remember what. Oh, yeah. Cereal. The flakes and strawberry kind. Then I ran to Walmart to get birthday presents, and other such stuff then I drove 30 minutes to the birthday party, then I stressed a bit about the normal birthday stuff…and the fact that there were tons of people who I didn’t know…and it started to sprinkle…and that didn’t matter to the kids…and I forgot to bring my camera…and I used my phone…and the internet connectivity was out of order…pretty much like my brain.

After the birthday party I took 2 grandsons back home and then my oldest daughter came in with the youngest of her kiddo’s and then they ran, and played, and jabbered. Then they left.

Did y’all just take a breath?

We did. So no, I did not exercise.

After passing out during the football games on the couch, waking to Jeff sawing logs in his recliner. Loudly. Uuhmmm yes. I suppose he was tired as well.

So, up I pounce (slowly…very slowly–wait can you pounce slow? I’m not sure, I’ll check with Tigger and get back to you), anyway, I crawl off the couch, lumber to the kitchen and try and figure out what I want to cook for supper. Answer? Nothing. But, I choose to peel potatoes for soup.

A bit of grocery shopping at the nearest grocery store that is NOT a
Wal-Mart and then back home to switch out the laundry that still has not folded itself!

Add to all that, a bunch of stuff I just plain already forgot about, and the WORSE part of all of it….I did not get up in time to do my devotions.

There. That’s at the bottom. I have layered on a nice slice of guilt– because the old enemy says, “you sure ain’t much of a Christian”…not gettin’ up and readin’…I bet the LORD don’t even pay you any attention today!”

But you know what? The LORD did pay me attention. He loved on me and as I drove, I recalled Scripture verses by memory and said them out loud (so the enemy could hear) and then I listened to a Bible Study as I was driving and the Lord paid attention. And I remember recent prayers that I had prayed and He had answered with a miracle.

So yes, dear sister. The LORD is paying attention to you. EVEN if you missed your devotional time. And those hormones that are plaguing you (and me)…it’s not exactly like a broken leg…but we will get better. Just maybe a little slower than the leg thing.

And on we go from here.  If you watched that one…click on part two.  It should pop up on the video screen, if not, click the YouTube and you can find part two there.  I cried.  Because I saw myself.  Not is her exact shoes, but pretty doggone close more than 15 years ago.

The LORD is good…and His mercy endures forever!

Girls, you know what makes this journey bearable?  Knowing you are there with me…maybe not necessarily in the SAME spot…but we’re all walking this road at some point and it helps to know that you have survived.

Back to the Doctor I go…or went.

Another day, another dollar.  Spent that is. Or so it seems anymore.

Praise report though, I am feeling better. MUCH better.  Taking a very small dose of hydrocortisone along with a vitamin (Centrum Performance)  is helping, plus, the hormone pill(s).  Two different ones…both working together to make me human again. Another thing, a supplement called Adapt.  It is for adrenal support and contains additional vitamins and minerals along with some herbs.  All together—I am feeling better. 

One thing the doctor said today that really made me feel better about my choice in physicians, as we were discussing what I could come off of in a few months if I felt better, he reminded me that medication was good and worked well in most all cases, but that along with prayer made everything work better.  I whole heartedly agreed.

And, while I would love to eat meals like this everyday, to be at my best, I can’t.  (This was Jeff’s plate of his favorites, before his doctor had to remove greens from his diet a few months ago.)  The corn bread and collards and sweet potatoes I could do all the time! (I could really do without meat–but I do love fish and chicken)

Exercise was another thing he reminded me of and yes, I am trying to do much more walking.  When we were away this past weekend I did some UP HILL walking….can I just pause and take a BREATH? WHEW!

One other thing (maybe more) that is vital to your mental health and hormonal relief, Bible reading.  Prayer, worship music, fellowship with like minded believers and studying the Word will get you through the worse day of your hormonal life.  That I do know.  The Bible says we are more than conquerors through Him that loves us. (Romans 8:37)  This can be conquered…but only when “taken” to Him.

Oswald Chambers wrote, “We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them, but in the midst of them.” 

Paul said he was exceedingly joyful in all tribulation.  I know if you are wrapped up in hormones…you will find that hard to believe. But as we strive with all our might to live life in the Spirit and not in the flesh (which is a struggle at times) and we are controlled by the Spirit instead of our flesh, then we will “feel” the joy that Paul was talking about—even while we are sweating! Yes, it’s true!  Read the whole chapter of Romans 8.

I leave you with this from Romans 8:18 Amplified Version:  “…For I consider that the sufferings of this present time (this present life) are not worth being compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us and for us and conferred on us!”

Conferred on us…the dictionary I use online said this: to bestow upon as a gift, favor, honor, etc.

My interpretation of conferred…”to lay it on us!” Blessings overflowing!

So girls, are you reading? Praying? Studying? Worshiping? Living and walking in the Spirit?

Let’s pick up the pace, tighten your shoelaces, we’ve not much further to go! Keep your eyes on the prize–the goal—the heavenly gates!  (Rather than the sweat that is pooling around you socks)

And uhmmm, take your medicine.

Help for the Hormonal Crisis

I know you think I’ve got the answer of all answers.

I am smiling while typing this because you are going to think I’m crazy!

I bought the CD set of the “Study of David” from the Deeper Still event in Nashville, featuring Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur.

Can I just tell you that I’ve listened to Priscilla and Beth—and could not help but cry at so much of what they shared.  The Word knowledge of Kay Arthur and her powerful testimony will also stir the soul!

Whether you believe me or not, this set of CD’s “Anointed~Transformed~Redeemed” REALLY blessed me in the critical phase of the fluctuating hormones of mine!  I was able to pray through—cry through and praise through the toughest of days!

Okay.  On to other stuff.

I haven’t written in more than a week.  Maybe longer.  I think I’ve had “bloggers block”.   Whatever.

I’ve been writing (with actual pencil and paper) in my devotional book, “My Utmost” by Oswald Chambers.  That has been so needed and absolutely necessary in these past few weeks!  So while I’ve not been writing “to you”…I’ve been writing to HIM.

My medicine has pretty much leveled out—I am feeling better—almost like my old self (not sure if that’s exactly good *wink*), but there was a day a couple of weeks ago, when I received a letter that brought tears and pain. (*see note at the bottom)

All that said, I’m okay now, the LORD revealed to my heart the “why” this person wrote in such a manner to me…and while I don’t agree—I do understand what the enemy is about.

He’s up to no good.  He, the enemy, is out to kill, steal and destroy all that is good in your life.  If he can work through your hormones he will.  If he can work through your job, he will.  If he can work through your family or friends, he will. 

What I want you to know is that you CAN recognize what he’s about in your life and put a stop to it.  Prayer will stop him in his tracks.

Every time.  Prayer is key to deliverance in all of this “stuff” we call life!

Make Proverbs 4:20-22 a prayer for the “dailyness” of our lives…especially the hormones.

“I will attend to God’s words; consent and submit to His sayings.  I will not let them depart from my sight but will keep them in the center of my heart.  For they are life to those who find them, healing and health to all their flesh.”

Romans 8:37  “I am more than a conqueror through Christ Who loves me.”

Write those on a card and stick them on your mirror or tape it on the dashboard…reminding yourself daily, as I have to, that His Word is true—and He is with you all the way.

*One thing I found out on the day the letter came:  the medicine that “had been working fine”—abruptly ceased—almost—when the stress hit the fan.  It was a major stress…and it really hit the fan. 

So, deep breath, lots of prayer, focus on HIM and not on the circumstance.  If you are taking your hormone replacement and feel that it’s not working as it once did, examine your life before the doctor increases your dosage.  It may be a simple matter of “de-stressing”—or de-cluttering your heart life.

**Picture of my mother’s garden bench.**

Mr. Exercise…

Exercise is a really good idea…but it takes a mind set.  A made up mind.  A determined mind.  I’m not sure how much mind I have to offer Mr. Exercise.

I have much more mind to offer Mr. Read.  Or Mr. Clean House even.  I enjoy Mr. Stroll…but Mr. Exercise??? He makes me sweat.  I NOT like sweat!  (I said that in typical “Cookie Monster” voice.)

I much more enjoy preparing a meal for my family, setting a pretty table (not very talented in the “setting” part–but I still enjoy trying ), and I enjoy some “gazing out the window” at the world time.

Not so much exercise.

But–this past weekend, I purchased a pair of new running shoes….just in case the mood to run strikes.  Not as in “runaway bride”, but as in “exercise”—or at least give it my best shot.  I have a feeling—they will be used more for some nice strolls.

Running walking fast we will go!

This will help with the hormone changes. Yes.  I know.  I don’t either.  But the book says…it raises the level of our serotonin and that’s a GOOD thing.  (The linked article is very informative!)

So, with the weekend upon us….let see how much exercise (heart-rate increasing) we can do! (Don’t I sound chipper??)

He’s fixing me,

Angie

A Better Day…

I remember years ago, a sweet lady standing in our home church during “Wednesday Night Testimony Service”…(that was a regular part of our Wednesday Night Service),  stating that she had been to the doctor for several visits about a recurring issue with her stomach.  I don’t remember the ailment, but I remember it was severe enough the physician put her on medication and she had to “keep going back” for check-ups.

On the last visit she had with him about that issue, after full examination, he wrote on his note pad, “no further medication is needed.  Patient healed after much prayer.”

I don’t know about you, but I have to pray daily for the issues in my life.  There are many family needs that I continue to take to the Father, along with people that He brings to my mind during the night, or while in my devotion in the mornings.  Daily prayer…for this daily living.

I KNOW that one day, I will look back at “these days” and say, “Whew!” It’s done!

Life is a puzzle, only God has all the pieces.

But for today, I have the fan on my desk. I change it’s position periodically.

Today really has been a better day. I put on full makeup! That may sound crazy…but there have been days lately, didn’t feel I could muster up the fortitude to stand there and keep trying —since the effort seemed to not last very long!

Some people may feel I have been too transparent. But I ask you…why? I don’t think the issues of hormones should be hidden. I think I can better cope if I know more about what is going on. For that matter, if you’ve experienced something and it was a success in dealing with yours, please let us all know! That is cause for great celebration! Another puzzle piece can be slid into place!

Prayer is key.  This is one thing I know for sure.

This passage from Isaiah was part of my devotion this morning.  I am sharing it from the Amplified Version.   You will recognize it quickly.

Isaiah 40:31 says “But those who wait for the LORD [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles pmount up to the Sun];  they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.”

I don’t know what that does in your heart…but it gives me HOPE!

Let’s journey on!  We can do this!

When is enough really enough?

I don’t really know.  That’s why I’m asking you.

Sometimes my enough takes longer to get here…other times…it’s really quick.

Case in point.  One day this past week I was a mess of emotions.  Headache, dizzy, hot, then COLD, then hot.  The cold part was a real shock to my system.  I was freezing!  I was so surprised!

I was blow drying my hair and instead of sweatin’ it back wet, I actually put the blow dryer to my neck and down the back of my shirt.  Yeah, that does sound pretty crazy now.

Then I got sick feeling.  Then I laid back down and text messaged the boss.  Not coming in. Sick.

I stayed home from work.  I dozed back off and then got up in a sweat.  Again. (It’s actually happening right now.)

CRAZY things last week.  You girls tell me if you’ve experienced this.

The normal hot then— not times.  The phone ringing OFF THE HOOK at the office.  Then a time or two some tightness in my chest (no left arm hurting) and then it would go away.  Of course, I am guzzling cold drinks. ANYTHING cold.  Some with caffiene, some without.  No caffiene after about 2 ‘ish.  It keeps me up (more than normal).

Okay, I noticed the day I stayed home…no tightness in my chest.  AND none whatsoever today (Saturday).  So, is there a connection?  Is it all in my mind?  Am I having an anxiety issue with the work phones??

I am taking the prescribed meds…the bionatural hormone replacement.  Today, I actually “felt” a bit better than last week.  Although I still laid down with the grandsons that were visiting and took a little snooze, I felt better.  Maybe, I need to work in a snooze at work?  What do you think?

By the way, the foggy picture is the feeling.  In a fog still.  Not my normal chipper, go-get-’em self.  But I BELIEVE I will get there!  I believe the fog will lift and I will be able to SEE clearly again!

You are all my “go to girls”….the ones I depend on. 

Waiting on Him to fix me….

Angie

Embrace the Tears

Girls…I have to tell you…the tears come.  Without warning or reason.

On Monday, we had errands to run when I got home from work.  We went to Lowe’s, then Walmart, then filled up the truck with fuel, then ran to a “fast food” place.  I ordered light…but still.   It was what it was.

THEN while driving the very short distance back home, I teared up.  Reason? Who knows.  There doesn’t have to be a reason.  It happens.

I sucked it up and squelched it back as best I could…no since in worrying Jeff.  Men, including mine, do not like tears.  Tears might require them to “fix” something…this something can’t be fixed.  Some men instinctively know to either “hold you close” or “run” for their lives.  Some don’t have a clue.

I think, judging from the past 27 years, Jeff would feel bad for not knowing what to do…but he wouldn’t run.

This morning, as I was driving to work, I felt the Lord say, “embrace” the tears.  Share them with Me.

Instinctively I do talk to the Lord when tears gather, although it may not always sound like a prayer…and I don’t think it has to be a prayer.  It can be a discussion.  Just make sure you give Him time and space to discuss back to you.  Tune your ears heavenward.

Take a few deep breaths.  When I take my deep breath, I say either out loud –or to myself, “thank you Jesus”.

There are those times when the tears have a bit of an angry sting in them.  From my own experience….it’s best to let God deal with those as well.    He knows what is best for me.  Always.

When the tears come to my eyes, I sometimes find myself pulling out old garbage that I have horded up—held onto—and sometimes it has even started to decay.  Most of the time I allow the LORD to deal with the stuff, but I will be honest–there are times that it’s just too much.  I stuff it back down with a very Scarlett O’Hara attitude of “I’ll think about that tomorrow!”

That is not the right way.  I know that very well.

^{Psalm 61:1-2} Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. (NIV)

There’s an old song that says, “Tears are a language, God  understands”—and I believe only He truly understands these hormonal tears of mine.

Often you’ve wondered why tears come into your eyes
and burdens seem to be much more than you can stand.
But God is standing near, he sees your falling tears,
tears are a language God understands.

So, embrace your Father, He will embrace your tears and wipe them dry.

Trusting Him to fix me,

Angie

(I think the lyrics are written by the Booth Brothers)

What not to do when you’re hormonal…

Don’t pull on Superman’s cape;

Don’t spit into the wind; and

Don’t order checks.

You wind up with something incredibly ugly or ridiculous…and find yourself asking yourself in just a few days, when the hormones go back into hibernation…”what in the WORLD was I drinking, smoking or doing—that caused me to order this mess! (No, I don’t drink nor smoke.)

I just broke out in a sweat just thinking of it!

No, wait.  The sweat was already there.  Started last night.  Has been off and on like a light bulb that is about to blow.

So I examine what I did…what started it?  Was it the coffee?  No, because it STARTED last night.  I don’t drink coffee at night.  It happened right about the time I laid my head to rest…

Does that mean when I go horizontal I break out in sweat?

It seemed that way for months, but then it started happening when I was in the middle of putting on makeup.  I’d apply the foundation…and it would melt right off! SO—I now use MaryKay mineral makeup—powder form.  It’s light.  No sliding off.  It gets very depressing…sweating while you are dressing.

On that note, I found myself being very selfish this weekend.

We had company.  Jeff’s brother and his wife and 4 of their 5 kids.  I LOVED having them.  The problem was—I’m hot—they’re not.

See where I’m going?

I passed out blankets, quilts, sheets, pillows, made beds in the living room, gave Toma (sister-in-law) a pair of fuzzy warm pj’s (because I know she is cold natured) and then after some “sharing and conversation” in the living room, we retired for the night.  I set the thermostat—1 whole degree warmer than I normally do…for their sake.

I was hot. They were not.

After we got the breakfast foods out and people were milling around, I asked them, “How’d you sleep last night?”

“Good—but it sure is cold” (several of them stated with icicles hanging from their nose).

“Sorry”.

A couple didn’t complain…well maybe only Cliff, Jeff’s brother, but he said he enjoyed sleeping in the winter time with covers up to his nose….

It was then that I realized how selfish I was.  I set the atmosphere for “me”. . .not my guests.

So, I leave you with this today….supposing you are on FIRE hormonally speaking.  You are sweating—you have company.  Do you alter the temperature in your home to suit their needs??  Knowing FULL WELL that sweating makes you unpleasant grouchy to be around?

Or, do you pass out blankets, and be the sweetest hostess with a smile and a laugh?

I want to know what you do…I know what I did.  (Don’t scold me…just love me.)

As mother says, “This too shall pass”….I am hoping sooner rather than later!

Oh, I almost forgot!

The results of my spit test showed I have adrenal fatigue,  low levels of cortisol, my progesterone and estrogen levels were very low as well.  The links I have provided were very informative to me.  Maybe they will help you too!

Another site I found today for information on Bioidentical hormone therapies and then the Center for BHRT Information with many doctors listed are inserted into this text.  I am not saying go running to your doctor.  What I am saying is pay attention to what your body is telling you.

FIRST pray.  If everything is right with your heart  and Jesus—then start paying attention to what you might be doing to yourself.  For instance, white sugars?  Too many starches?  To many caffeinated beverages? (I know—that was a real hum-dinger for me!)  Be sure and let your doctor know EVERYTHING that you are up against.  Don’t hold back!  AND please research what he prescribes.  Know what you are taking.

Keep a journal of your eating habits.  Your exercise—I guess that means we have to exercise!  Lisa Shaw is a wonderful inspirational motivator!  Just  talking with her via facebook or blog will keep you pumped up mentally!

Find someone that will be your accountability partner…maybe someone who doesn’t mind hearing “how much you sweat”! (It doesn’t bother me…because I am right there with ya baby!)

Thanks for listening,

Hormonal Angie

(a.k.a. Trusting HIM to make me better, Angie)

Photo credit goes to Art.com

Doctor Visit

A few weeks ago, after finally having ENOUGH of the warp speed of my change in personality, I decided I had better get myself to the doctor before I did some bodily harm to someone.  On most days it would be a co-worker.  Of the male persuasion.  (If you know them personally, I guarantee they will vouch for this statement.)

I found myself wanting to QUIT my job, the job I really do enjoy…because I couldn’t deal with the issues of it all any longer.  I work for a law firm–for the past 10+ years, and I answer the phone, greet the clients, type in all the the work for 4 attorney’s for EVERY-SINGLE-THING they do through out the course of the day…week…month.  Did I mention I answer the phone? 

Anyway, I will cut that short—you really didn’t come here to hear about my work junk.

Back to the doctor appointment.  I went in for routine blood work for my high cholesterol.  My doctor listened to me–share with him the details of my “not sleeping”, night sweating, tear frenzy days and told me, “Angie, I want you to get this book, “From Hormone Hell to Hormone Well”.  The information in that book will provide some answers, and when you finish reading, if you are ready to go to the next step, we’ll do it together.  My wife has found significant relief through this type of hormone replacement therapy.  It’s not synthetic—but I want you to examine other things in your life as well.  Look at where you are spiritually (I liked what he was saying), look at the stress level in your life, what you are doing that maybe you don’t need to be doing, and what you are eating.  Are you exercising Angie?”

“Well, I got a dog”….I told him lamely.  I take him on walks…or rather he drags my sluggish feet around the block.

I knew what he meant.  He didn’t mean “housework”, or dog walking, he meant real live exercise that gets your heart rate up and keeps it up for a period of time where you are sweatin’ bullets!

The sweatin’ part I have down pat.  No problem there sista!

Okay.  My butt hurts.  We have to get up.  I will come back to this conversation.

I’ll leave you with a couple of places to visit.  Here are the resources. AND here are the doctors.  Sadly, there are not very many.  It’s too easy just to follow the pattern of the past, hook up with the drug reps and let them do the talking…without thoroughly investigating it for yourself.  But I think, more and more are looking into the natural replacement—I mean think about it.  Do you want to take the same medication that is prescribed to SusieQ who weighs 70 lbs less than you?? Do you think the medication will work the same in both bodies??  I don’t.

Okay. Butt numb now.  Gotta get up.

Let’s talk again.  Leave a comment if you want to and we’ll discuss it together!

Loving Him,

Angie