I don’t have the wisdom of the world.

I’ve not studied medicine in college–nor plan to.  What I do have is a few years experience.

I still  sometimes wake exhausted feeling (some days-even weepy).  Not sure why–but even in taking all the right hormones to balance things out–I’m still just me.  Walking with HIM.  (Jesus)  And, honestly, it’s only in that walk can I be changed…helped…because I then see–it’s not about me.

Hormones cause us to focus on “US”.  Way-way-way too much.  Or, it does me.

When the sweat breaks out–I think– “OH MY GOSH! Would SOMEBODY turn on the air-conditioner!  OR THE FAN! For crying out loud–get out from in front of the VENT!  YOU are blocking the air!

I hate it in my own self and others.  Jeff and I talked recently of what we see in the world… “self-absorption”.  Unfortunately, it has entered the church.  Actually, it was always there–it’s just more prevalent, because people are now made to think that “everything is okay”. Hey, my mother taught me–it is NOT okay.

Best that I not get started there.  I am learning.  Every day I learn more about myself…my faults (and they are many) and God nudges me to “think right”.

 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.  Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.  Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.  Psalm 51:9-11

In looking back at the last few years, I’m learning when it is best to keep my mouth shut.  (Often)  And when to talk.  When to confront and when just let sleeping dogs lie.

I have learned that there are people who need our help, people who don’t want our help, and there are those who make a living from holding cardboard signs by the interstate “asking” for help.

For those who need our help, it’s better for them to not “over do”.  As I learned growing up, my mother taught me how to do certain things, then she let me do it.  If I made a mistake, I learned from it.  It’s best all the way around.  If we keep doing and doing and doing for our kids, we damage them into thinking “someone always will”.

Truth is, someone always won’t.  An employer won’t.  A spouse won’t.  Best not to get that started.  I’m not wise and all knowing in the area of raising kids.  My husband and I have raised two.  But not without Help.

Not social help (as in the government).  But heavenly Help (as in The Lord Jesus Christ, Who is continually by my side).  And we made PLENTY of mistakes.  Still make some. But there is a big thrill to watch our kids become parents and see them in action…yes, making mistakes of their own, but also getting the main things right.

Why did I get started on kids?  Who knows! That is what hormones will do –you start at one end of the house cleaning and get sidetracked straightening pictures on the wall, then suddenly remember the box of photos not in the photo book and get distracted looking at old pictures and reminiscing at how fast the kids have grown then remember how hard it was raising them through the teenage years then…. oh, wait.  Did that just happen?

Like I said….no worldly wisdom here…and it’s a LONG climb~2014-03-22 01-Jeff-Me GOLF-Camping 2014 008

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(c) Angie Knight 2014.  All rights reserved.

I don’t care who says what…weather makes a difference.

Raining?  The moods tends often to pitter-patter on the panes of life.

Humidity high?  The tension seems to thicken with the air…

But come fall… let a few leaves begin to turn that reddish color that makes us all (fall lovers) gasp inside–and the mood lightens and we feel like the summer season of heat and hot flashes might just be ebbing away.

2010-11-23 Thanksgiving week-boys 2010 004

That’s what  I felt this morning.  The air was lighter–cooler and felt survivable.

Experiencing the perfect fall day is like putting on that new dress and finding that the fit is even better than in the store.  A bit looser.

And, hey, when the clothes feel loose, the mood brightens immediately!  :)

I read something the other day–someone bragging because last years earrings still fit.🙂  Yeah, that’s a good brag🙂  I had been given a pair as a gift several years ago and they were actually too “tight”.   The posts were quite large-and the holes in my earlobes not so much.  I wasn’t too keen on stretching them either– I’ve seen that look-

Where was I going with that?

I don’t remember.  Back to the weather.

It’s cooler outside today…felt like bon-fire starting and marshmallow roasting.   The hormones are better…

Another thing that makes a difference in the “hormonal balance” besides weather is a “clean house”.

Yes, I went “there”.

I know it’s hard to do–spend all day cleaning your heart out and someone comes in and leaves shoes by the chair and newspaper strewn over the floor.  All you want to do is scream because you worked until your back is killing you and very little consideration is shown–especially by the kids.  Heck, they think the “cleaning fairy” comes in every day and takes care of their junk–they probably have no idea that it is actually “you”.

I have an idea–maybe it still works.  It’s “Divide and Conquer”.

Divide up the chores among the electricity and food consumers in the house and let them have a part in making your house a home again.

Yes, they will complain.

My solution to that is purple.  There are some really cute purple ear plugs at Walmart.  Get a pack.  Insert one into each ear.  “Yours”.  OR, get out your little MP3 and turn it up and tune them out.

Give them a time limit–and a reward at the end of the week.  The feeling of accomplishment is reward enough for you–but for them, they might need a little something extra.  You don’t have to spend money–a reward for a child is “helping make a batch of cookies” or something.

Stop the nonsense of “spending” money as rewards for them.  That’s what’s wrong these days!  For crying out loud–when I was growing up–GROCERY DAY was the highlight of the month for us kids!

I’m not ashamed to say it–I am proud of the way our mother raised us.  It was not with lavish gifts, but with lavish love.  Chores tucked in every day–but at the end of the day–we had contributed to making things easier for her.  (Divorced mom raising 4 kids on a shoestring…and the financial threads were mighty bare at times)

I don’t know the difficulty you might be having today–and granted, the day I’m writing this it feels good outside…that doesn’t mean it will tomorrow–or on the day you happen to read this.  But you do need to know:  He makes the Biggest Difference.

The He…is Jesus.

Whether the weather calls for sunshine or rain; snow or hail…Know that He makes the difference at the heart of the matter.  It’s not so much what’s going on on the outside–as it is what’s happening on the inside of each and everyone of us.

I invite you today–talk to Him about your day–about the changes going on in your life–or the changes that you WANT to go on in your  life.  You might find Him a pretty good listener….

Weather you think so or not.😉

 

Give Thanks-table by Brenda

No complaints.

I should have none…yet it happens.  I usually complain about “hot flashes”…but guess what?!

New doctor + 2 new medications = no flashes.

Except for the RARE flash… And THAT, I can take.  It was the “every thirty minute” flashing that was killing me.

So, I’d do what every other red blooded woman would do…I complained.  Wanted to do bodily injury to a woman named “Eve”….but since she is not around…I let it go.  New doctor has made me happy.

The “other” new medicine may make me grow facial hair–AND has made me a bit more “talkative” when I voice my opinion (kind of reminds me of a dear friend– Vanessa Garrett), but once I get THAT under control… I should be almost normal.:/  (What is normal?)

I just sent a fax for a lady who came by the office.  She was a stranger to me.

As I was watching the crumpled paper slide through the machine a few words caught my attention.  I’m not normally nosing into other’s business–but these words stood out.

“I DO NOT HAVE A HOME”

Those words caught me off guard.

I noticed the signature on the last page wasn’t hers.   It was the scrawling signature of a man.

“I AM HOMELESS”

There are many things being complained about on Facebook-many things being slammed and complained about in churches and on the job–but let’s get real:  We really have nothing to complain about.

So what if they aren’t singing your favorite style of music.  Do what I do.  Listen to the radio and select YOUR style of music…then on Sunday sing with everyone else.  It’s NOT them you are singing to….

It’s HIM.

Oh, don’t get me started.

We have SO become that church.

The church of Ephesus.  We have left our first Love.

We have become the church of  Laodicea.  As vile as vomit in the mouth of God-because we are “lukewarm”.

I noticed some words falling in repetition throughout these passages on the churches as John wrote from Patmos, “I know your works”.

This is a word we need to heed.  He knows our works.

There are days, like this morning–when some hurtful things flailed back through my mind–and I began to be disheartened… then I reminded myself…

We are…children of the MOST HIGH GOD.

Sure, we will have painful words to hear.  Yes, things will happen in our lives that cause much grief and suffering…but that does NOT change who we are.

We are NOT homeless.

Our home is eternal–no ONE can take it away nor destroy it.  Only we can change that course.

Lukewarm state of living will wind us up in a pool of spew far from the Master’s table.

I don’t want that.  Neither do you.

Can we vow to not complain?  Or at least–think before we speak?

And one more thing….if you are singing praises to God… act like it.

angie tag and daisy

(c) Angie Knight 2013

Conversation with my mother today at lunch:

Me:  sometimes it just happens.  All of a sudden–hot–red–sweaty.

Mother:  I know.

Me:  I think this has been going on for about 7 years–truly I’ve lost count.

Mother: (at 70)  It doesn’t seem to let up.

Me:  I’m finding I’m forgetting things…having a hard time focusing…do you?

Mother:  Yes dear.  It seems to be a package deal.  I’ll tell you I have also found out “sweets” will trigger them.  But as Nancy says, “sometimes the sweets are worth the sweat”.

Me:  (despair, oh must I?)  I know what she means…but I do try to be careful…but the memory thing has really got me upset!

Mother:  It happens to all of us…I just try real hard to remember the real important things, and let the other stuff go.

Me:  (thinking–I seem to have too much that seems important)

The above conversation happened today at lunch…while eating our favorite food–Mexican.  The painful part is the reality of what we both feel…me at 51+, she at 70+.  The emotions that overtake us at times seem overwhelming…washing over me in a heated sweat–leaving me feeling like a furnace was set too high.  The passing of that sweat is just as upsetting.  Like a wave, you wonder when the next one will strike.

It’s not like labor pains…it cannot be timed…nor planned for.  And there is no bouncing baby at the end of the acquired weight gain of hormones.  Really, I just want to slap those who glibly fly through this time with not one ounce of hindrance.   Okay, sorry.  That was a hormone talking.  The REAL me wouldn’t slap.

Hmmm.

The only slightly humorous thing happened when I discovered a pair of Jeff’s almost new socks in the kitchen garbage…

“What are these doing in the garbage?” I question him– holding up the perfectly good socks.

“I don’t know.  I don’t remember putting them in there”.  Glad that it was him and not me…as it could have been me–if it were not that I was just returning from somewhere…at this point, I don’t remember where–but it did involve driving.:-/

Seems to be catching.

KDSYwKS6pFGOHo

The cupcake picture–deliciously comes from “Sugar Boogers” in Panama City, FL.
I’ve not been there…”yet”.

If you are blessed with grand-kids, they likely LOVE coming to your house.

These visits, while absolutely a fun experience (while you are dreaming of all the fun things you will do), are a necessity for you as well as these little ones.

Although, try not to scare them as your day may go up and down.  A hormonal sweep will most likely happen.  It will probably happen while you are trying to get them to the table, or to the bath, or to bed.  OR, on every single one of those occasions PLUS some.

The fun I mentioned earlier–it will take place.  Tucked in among the trickling sweat (your face) and the grime (their faces) and the tears (yours) and giggles (theirs and yours).  Grab the fun.  Enjoy the fun.

Relish the fun.

You may think it may not happen again, the “fun” of life.  BUT really it CAN.

Especially if  you learn to laugh at yourself.

Like I did, the morning all 5 boys crowded in my bed (not a king size) and one of them lisping said, “Nana’s hair shhure is a mess in da mornings”….

Yes, it is.

Image

(c) Angie Knight.  All rights reserved.

 Does your face get you into trouble?  Mine does.  As some peoples mouth tends to jump out there and speak before the brain gets in gear–my face seems to do the same.  I really thought tonight about getting a mask.  At least that way I won’t get stung and I won’t offend.  But, the mask would get hot and stuffy.  I’d have trouble breathing too.  Is that hormones?  The face expression thing?

Maybe I’ve always been like that.  I don’t know.  Or, maybe some are just more sensitive to expressions these days. 

I wrote something down a while back, can’t remember where I found it, but it said, “the most important thing you wear is your expression.”  Wow.  I guess I should have read that tonight before I looked the way I looked.  Mmmm.  Maybe two little grandsons being very active all day long and me being tired from activity I’m not quite used to could have a wee bit to do with it. 

I think when dealing with others, we need to show a little more mercy (I know I do).  So.  Sorry about the “look” if you feel you’ve ever been the recipient of one of my looks.  Truly I didn’t mean it.  I have a vision problem.  (Really)  I remember a sweet woman that I went to church with many years ago, stopped me after church and asked if I was upset with her about anything.  Astonished, I said, “of course not, why do you ask?” 

“Well, you looked at me funny across the church.”

I guess it wasn’t a funny -ha-ha- type.  I explained to her that I had had trouble seeing and would soon be seeing the eye doctor.  I had squinted at her…I suppose that could be confused with a look of “upset”?  4 different pair and strengths of glasses later plus contact lenses proves my point. 

How often do you jump to conclusions about something because of a look you misinterpreted? 

 Yeah, me too.  Sometimes though, I’m on target. 

So, is it your vision or their face?  Hmmm.  Could be either, or both I suppose.

I think we need to work on both.

And His love and grace is what keeps me going!Give Thanks-table by Brenda

But—I got me some hormones.

It’s different from having a broken leg. A broken leg will heal in time. But those hormones…or today, being full of NW FL, small county community dialect, I’d say, “but them there hormones, they are givin’ me a fit!”

Yes, I took my meds. Yes, I am eating right. No I didn’t exercise this weekend. Instead, I was up early, did some laundry (just the washing and drying part), ate a bite of breakfast, although can’t remember what. Oh, yeah. Cereal. The flakes and strawberry kind. Then I ran to Walmart to get birthday presents, and other such stuff then I drove 30 minutes to the birthday party, then I stressed a bit about the normal birthday stuff…and the fact that there were tons of people who I didn’t know…and it started to sprinkle…and that didn’t matter to the kids…and I forgot to bring my camera…and I used my phone…and the internet connectivity was out of order…pretty much like my brain.

After the birthday party I took 2 grandsons back home and then my oldest daughter came in with the youngest of her kiddo’s and then they ran, and played, and jabbered. Then they left.

Did y’all just take a breath?

We did. So no, I did not exercise.

After passing out during the football games on the couch, waking to Jeff sawing logs in his recliner. Loudly. Uuhmmm yes. I suppose he was tired as well.

So, up I pounce (slowly…very slowly–wait can you pounce slow? I’m not sure, I’ll check with Tigger and get back to you), anyway, I crawl off the couch, lumber to the kitchen and try and figure out what I want to cook for supper. Answer? Nothing. But, I choose to peel potatoes for soup.

A bit of grocery shopping at the nearest grocery store that is NOT a
Wal-Mart and then back home to switch out the laundry that still has not folded itself!

Add to all that, a bunch of stuff I just plain already forgot about, and the WORSE part of all of it….I did not get up in time to do my devotions.

There. That’s at the bottom. I have layered on a nice slice of guilt– because the old enemy says, “you sure ain’t much of a Christian”…not gettin’ up and readin’…I bet the LORD don’t even pay you any attention today!”

But you know what? The LORD did pay me attention. He loved on me and as I drove, I recalled Scripture verses by memory and said them out loud (so the enemy could hear) and then I listened to a Bible Study as I was driving and the Lord paid attention. And I remember recent prayers that I had prayed and He had answered with a miracle.

So yes, dear sister. The LORD is paying attention to you. EVEN if you missed your devotional time. And those hormones that are plaguing you (and me)…it’s not exactly like a broken leg…but we will get better. Just maybe a little slower than the leg thing.

And on we go from here.  If you watched that one…click on part two.  It should pop up on the video screen, if not, click the YouTube and you can find part two there.  I cried.  Because I saw myself.  Not is her exact shoes, but pretty doggone close more than 15 years ago.

The LORD is good…and His mercy endures forever!

Girls, you know what makes this journey bearable?  Knowing you are there with me…maybe not necessarily in the SAME spot…but we’re all walking this road at some point and it helps to know that you have survived.

GetAttachment.aspx

Another day, another dollar.  Spent that is. Or so it seems anymore.

Praise report though, I am feeling better. MUCH better.  Taking a very small dose of hydrocortisone along with a vitamin (Centrum Performance)  is helping, plus, the hormone pill(s).  Two different ones…both working together to make me human again. Another thing, a supplement called Adapt.  It is for adrenal support and contains additional vitamins and minerals along with some herbs.  All together—I am feeling better. 

One thing the doctor said today that really made me feel better about my choice in physicians, as we were discussing what I could come off of in a few months if I felt better, he reminded me that medication was good and worked well in most all cases, but that along with prayer made everything work better.  I whole heartedly agreed.

supper

And, while I would love to eat meals like this everyday, to be at my best, I can’t.  (This was Jeff’s plate of his favorites, before his doctor had to remove greens from his diet a few months ago.)  The corn bread and collards and sweet potatoes I could do all the time! (I could really do without meat–but I do love fish and chicken)

Exercise was another thing he reminded me of and yes, I am trying to do much more walking.  When we were away this past weekend I did some UP HILL walking….can I just pause and take a BREATH? WHEW!

One other thing (maybe more) that is vital to your mental health and hormonal relief, Bible reading.  Prayer, worship music, fellowship with like minded believers and studying the Word will get you through the worse day of your hormonal life.  That I do know.  The Bible says we are more than conquerors through Him that loves us. (Romans 8:37)  This can be conquered…but only when “taken” to Him.

Oswald Chambers wrote, “We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them, but in the midst of them.” 

Paul said he was exceedingly joyful in all tribulation.  I know if you are wrapped up in hormones…you will find that hard to believe. But as we strive with all our might to live life in the Spirit and not in the flesh (which is a struggle at times) and we are controlled by the Spirit instead of our flesh, then we will “feel” the joy that Paul was talking about—even while we are sweating! Yes, it’s true!  Read the whole chapter of Romans 8.

I leave you with this from Romans 8:18 Amplified Version:  “…For I consider that the sufferings of this present time (this present life) are not worth being compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us and for us and conferred on us!”

Conferred on us…the dictionary I use online said this: to bestow upon as a gift, favor, honor, etc.

My interpretation of conferred…”to lay it on us!” Blessings overflowing!

So girls, are you reading? Praying? Studying? Worshiping? Living and walking in the Spirit?

Let’s pick up the pace, tighten your shoelaces, we’ve not much further to go! Keep your eyes on the prize–the goal—the heavenly gates!  (Rather than the sweat that is pooling around you socks)

And uhmmm, take your medicine.

gift from Denise

I know you think I’ve got the answer of all answers.Flowers-Koda 014

I am smiling while typing this because you are going to think I’m crazy!

I bought the CD set of the “Study of David” from the Deeper Still event in Nashville, featuring Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur.

Can I just tell you that I’ve listened to Priscilla and Beth—and could not help but cry at so much of what they shared.  The Word knowledge of Kay Arthur and her powerful testimony will also stir the soul!

Whether you believe me or not, this set of CD’s “Anointed~Transformed~Redeemed” REALLY blessed me in the critical phase of the fluctuating hormones of mine!  I was able to pray through—cry through and praise through the toughest of days!

Okay.  On to other stuff.

I haven’t written in more than a week.  Maybe longer.  I think I’ve had “bloggers block”.   Whatever.

I’ve been writing (with actual pencil and paper) in my devotional book, “My Utmost” by Oswald Chambers.  That has been so needed and absolutely necessary in these past few weeks!  So while I’ve not been writing “to you”…I’ve been writing to HIM.

My medicine has pretty much leveled out—I am feeling better—almost like my old self (not sure if that’s exactly good *wink*), but there was a day a couple of weeks ago, when I received a letter that brought tears and pain. (*see note at the bottom)

All that said, I’m okay now, the LORD revealed to my heart the “why” this person wrote in such a manner to me…and while I don’t agree—I do understand what the enemy is about.

He’s up to no good.  He, the enemy, is out to kill, steal and destroy all that is good in your life.  If he can work through your hormones he will.  If he can work through your job, he will.  If he can work through your family or friends, he will

What I want you to know is that you CAN recognize what he’s about in your life and put a stop to it.  Prayer will stop him in his tracks.

Every time.  Prayer is key to deliverance in all of this “stuff” we call life!

Make Proverbs 4:20-22 a prayer for the “dailyness” of our lives…especially the hormones.

“I will attend to God’s words; consent and submit to His sayings.  I will not let them depart from my sight but will keep them in the center of my heart.  For they are life to those who find them, healing and health to all their flesh.”

Romans 8:37  “I am more than a conqueror through Christ Who loves me.”

Write those on a card and stick them on your mirror or tape it on the dashboard…reminding yourself daily, as I have to, that His Word is true—and He is with you all the way.

*One thing I found out on the day the letter came:  the medicine that “had been working fine”—abruptly ceased—almost—when the stress hit the fan.  It was a major stress…and it really hit the fan. 

So, deep breath, lots of prayer, focus on HIM and not on the circumstance.  If you are taking your hormone replacement and feel that it’s not working as it once did, examine your life before the doctor increases your dosage.  It may be a simple matter of “de-stressing”—or de-cluttering your heart life.

**Picture of my mother’s garden bench.**

Exercise is a really good idea…but it takes a mind set.  A made up mind.  A determined mind.  I’m not sure how much mind I have to offer Mr. Exercise.

I have much more mind to offer Mr. Read.  Or Mr. Clean House even.  I enjoy Mr. Stroll…but Mr. Exercise??? He makes me sweat.  I NOT like sweat!  (I said that in typical “Cookie Monster” voice.)Womens Campmeeting 2009 045

I much more enjoy preparing a meal for my family, setting a pretty table (not very talented in the “setting” part–but I still enjoy trying🙂 ), and I enjoy some “gazing out the window” at the world time.

Not so much exercise.

But–this past weekend, I purchased a pair of new running shoes….just in case the mood to run strikes.  Not as in “runaway bride”, but as in “exercise”—or at least give it my best shot.  I have a feeling—they will be used more for some nice strolls.

Running walking fast we will go!

This will help with the hormone changes. Yes.  I know.  I don’t either.  But the book says…it raises the level of our serotonin and that’s a GOOD thing.  (The linked article is very informative!)

So, with the weekend upon us….let see how much exercise (heart-rate increasing) we can do! (Don’t I sound chipper??)

He’s fixing me,

Angie

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